How Not to Announce Your Independently Published Novel on Facebook

Anyway, here’s a book I wrote. No, I didn’t self-publish because I was rejected by real publishers, I self-published because I’m too impatient and anxiety-ridden to write query letters in the first place. Anyway, here’s a book I wrote. I know, it’s audacious that I’d just go and write a book, then publish it withoutContinue reading “How Not to Announce Your Independently Published Novel on Facebook”

The Art Monster Tires Of Their Manic Pixie Dream Girl Skin

I am not here for you to learn a lesson. I am not here so you can be a better man, or a more clever man, or a more interesting man. I am here to tell stories. Maybe you’ll be one of them. Darling, that’s a threat. I don’t care if you like my stories.Continue reading “The Art Monster Tires Of Their Manic Pixie Dream Girl Skin”

Pilgrimage to Villa Diodati

We took Quai Gustave-Ador out of Geneva proper, walking along Lake Leman until the winter tourist crowds subsided. I insisted on walking, despite the cold which had migrated to my lungs. I knew it wouldn’t be the same by bus. If I didn’t walk, it wouldn’t feel to me like I’d really arrived at VillaContinue reading “Pilgrimage to Villa Diodati”

Favorite Books of 2019

From non-fiction to poetry to trashy romance, I thought I’d list some of the best books I’ve read this year. Future Perfect: A Skeptic’s Search for an Honest Mystic, by Victoria Loustalot I went on Goodreads to see how this book was categorized (memoir) and was surprised to see how poorly it was rated. ThisContinue reading “Favorite Books of 2019”

Pacific Northwest Gothic: A Template

  We start with fear and end with the fantasy. First, there is a corpse on a riverbank. Later, she dances on a stage with red velvet curtains. The North decays just as well as the South, but in deceptive ways. You won’t smell the body rot coming from the forest over the scent ofContinue reading “Pacific Northwest Gothic: A Template”

I’d rather be Kilgore Trout

“ I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.” — Kurt Vonnegut I recently decided something: I’d rather be Kilgore Trout than not be a writer. I’d rather be a piece of satire than just another stretch of silence. Trout, Kurt Vonnegut’s prolific science fictionContinue reading “I’d rather be Kilgore Trout”

The Visionary

Her fingernails snip the stems of daisies and dandelions as she dreams of rings. Another flower crown, another fairy ring, another circle of friends, another playground game. “What if we were a spaceship?” she asks the other kids. “I saw in a show they can make them this way. We could spin through space.” TheContinue reading “The Visionary”

How to be a successful manic pixie dream girl

Forget whatever you might know of your origins. Forget what you love, and especially forget what you hate. Shrink into toddlerhood – make sure your waist shrinks too. No one over 110 pounds could possibly be eccentric. Fall in love eternally. Love the carpet, the table, the dogshit on the street. Don’t admit to lovingContinue reading “How to be a successful manic pixie dream girl”